I am Bonez's Urethra.

Urethra & Bladder, June 2010
And I HATE it!!!

I don't call it "Bonez", I call it "It". It isn't somewhere fun or nice to live, I'm just stuck here. It's miserable here.  Polluted, full of crappy chemicals and all this other garbage. So why should I make things easier? Duh?

I mostly hang out with my BFF Bladder. We've been friends FOREVER! She's the best. And just like me, she can't stand living in this awful place. Everyone says she looks sweet, but she makes more trouble than I do. And I'm in trouble alot. Especially now that Cath moved into the neighborhood. Holy crap, do we hate her! She's this major pain that acts like she's all that and a bag of chips, but really one day she's going to get schooled in what's up. Because Bladder's boyfriend Raphe and my boyfriend Ramus are members of the most bad-ass gang up in this hood - the Urethral Sphincters. All we would have to do is give ONE WORD and Cath would so be out of here. Her and her sweet little innocent disposition.

The only reason we haven't done anything so far is that we can use Cath to hurt It. Like last night, oh my gosh, you should have SEEN what we did! It's lying there, trying to relax and crap, and all of a sudden, we decide to have some fun. Bladder had this cigarette and she blew this HUGE puff of smoke right in Cath's face. Cath tried to play it cool, but you could tell she just wanted to run and cry. And then, I started lighting matches and burning Cath just barely so it wouldn't really do any real damage that I could get in trouble for, but OMG, you could tell she just wanted to cry. And then she gets all smart and somehow demands that It send some water to stop the burning. As if that would stop us!

It took FIVE tries before Cath could hold it together long enough to go home without looking like she got a beat-down. Bladder and I were actually getting bored so eventually we went to hang with Raphe and Ramus. And eventually I guess we fell asleep. Oh well.

It can try all it wants to be calm and submissive to the Sphincters, but we aren't going to let up that easy. It's way too much fun being a bully!

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely hilarious! The whole ########## thing is NOT funny, but somehow you find a way to twist the tale with wry humor. Awesome, Tink!
    I pray that one day Urethra will be free of her entanglements and it will be business as usual.
    MT J