I am Bonez's Creeping Colon
I'm not the most talked about body part, but boy let me tell you - when I want to cause trouble, you'll know it. I am the colon. I'm the end of the line for the digestive process, the last place your food sees before it sees the inside of the porcelain bowl.
And when I want to, I can be a giant bastard. Like now. Bonez is going through hell because of my desire to be like my hero - G. Gordon "I plead the fifth" Liddy. There's lots of stuff I should be 'saying', but instead I'm gonna keep my trap shut. Oh, I'll talk eventually. But on my time. Not Bonez's, not anyone's.
They're going to say that if I hadn't been radiated so intensely a few years ago, I would behave myself a little more. But screw that. I'm one of the most unappreciated parts of the body, I'm gonna do what I want and be as curmudgeonly as I want. And right now, I want Bonez to be miserable.
Mission accomplished? Hope so!